Everyone deserves a second chance at love, and so do single parents. Amid the taboo and judgemental looks from many different people including their own family, their journey of finding love can look quite different from that of most divorced and separated singles without children. It comes with a different level of honesty. There is no room for guesswork, a narrower scope of casual connections, and a stronger clarity and sense of what truly matters.
A new online study by the Indian matchmaking and matrimony app Rebounce, has shown that over 47 per cent of single parents discuss future expectations and priorities within the first week of matching.
The app`s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, shares, “For single parents, this is not just a romantic experience; it`s a thoughtful decision that just doesn`t affect them but also their children. Their matching style is much more intentional than that of regular daters or even childfree previously married singles. Singles with kids never try to fit the “perfect partner” image, looking to impress their match. In our experience, they are their most real self during the entire matchmaking process to ensure they find someone authentic and their matches are well aware of who they really are going to be beyond the honeymoon phase.”
The study was conducted among 7,639 divorced, separated, and widowed individuals with children who are actively using matchmaking and matrimonial apps, seeking a second chance at love. Respondents ranged in age from 28 to 45 and came from Tier 1 and 2 Indian cities. The study concentrates on how single parents are finding love with clarity, emotional maturity, responsibility, and a steady focus on long-term compatibility.
What lies ahead
Traditional matchmaking usually suggests taking things slow and avoiding talking about the future too soon, but matchmaking for single parents comes with a quicker dive into more serious topics. Almost half of the participants disclosed that they bring up topics like parenting style, living arrangement, relationship with the ex, and emotional readiness to raise someone else`s kid during the first week of interaction. They explained that it helps lay all the cards on the table, and leaves little to no room for miscommunication and expectation mismatch. 38 per cent of women and 31 per cent of men said that this conversation comes from practicality, not pressure. They said they don`t want to bond emotionally with someone who would later reveal their displeasure about life with children and family responsibilities.
Kids are not a sensitive topic
The survey throws light on an interesting fact: single parents on matchmaking apps speak about their kids more freely than ever before. They don`t treat their children as a sensitive topic or try to break the news to their match after a few days of interaction, so as not to spook them out. Over 43 per cent of single parents said they add their status to their bio or disclose it during the first conversation itself. The survey highlights that 7 out of 10 participants said that they never feel that kids complicate their second shot at love; instead, they shared that they see their children as a part of their story, the one part that shaped them into the person that they are today. Anisha (35) from Delhi said, “Hiding the fact that you have a kid only complicates things later on. It`s entirely possible that a match, even someone who seems perfect for me, does not want the added responsibility of my kid. He deserves to know what he is getting into from the first chat.”
Compatibility comes in layers
For regular daters or child-free previously married singles, compatibility is between them and their match. But for single parents, the kids come into the mix. For these users, compatibility is seen through the practical lens. 44 per cent of single parents between 30 and 40 years of age from metros and suburbs said they evaluate work schedule, lifestyle choices, emotional maturity, parenting capabilities before they check chemistry and attraction.
Only if the former suits their children`s needs, they move on to getting to know the match. This does not kill romance, said 29 per cent of men and women. In fact, they claimed feeling much more open with their match once their daily realities align. Sohan, 37-year-old single dad from Orissa, explains, “Attraction is not enough when you are a single parent looking for a partner. I need someone who can also fit into my reality that already exists, and also see if my kid and I can fit into hers without disrupting her rhythm.”
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